Very heartfelt and genuine and moving. Yes, life can be very unfair, often difficult and disappointing. Divorce and step-families can make life challenging. You cannot keep beating yourself up. You obviously care about your kids, and I feel your heartbreak. No, history does not have to repeat itself. You are also resilient, have accomplishments, and a future ahead of you. You can't just dwell on the pain of a past you cannot change.
Very interesting to hear from your point of view, I could have married him, just my type. Handsome, rugged, edgy etc. in fact I did. He ended up taking himself out after we divorced. The kids were 7 & 3, if he’d lived they would have experienced life the same as you.
As it turned out, the kids didn’t make it either. One got caught up in the chaos and partying of 1st year college students and experimented with drugs and was gone within a year. The other tried to do the right thing, live the right way. Got married, bought a house, had a small business. Was diagnosed at 26 and was gone 7 mths later. Life…ya never know what you’re gonna get
This resonates so much to me. My father wasn’t an alcoholic. But as the youngest of three coming thru the depression, he was a philander and ultimately broke our family into pieces. Sin is generational and still dealing with the rotten residue from that era.
In my own way I have had a similar life - though totally different. But the upshot and results in terms of feelings are very much the same. So thank you for sharing this raw and heartfelt piece. Know that you are not alone.
For someone who is punishing himself, you sure picked some gorgeous scenery to do it in. And some damn fine work to do while you are. Any people you serve who might be willing to do some ancestral healing for/with you? That might be why you are in CO, for healing not for punishment.
I'm not interested in healing. I'm just waiting it out. And I HATE Colorado. I love the tribes I work with, but this place is hell. When I finally leave, I'll never look back.
I’m so sorry. Hard for me to imagine this life. My mom and dad were married for 50 years. He had “the big one” and passed away later that year. My wife and I just celebrated our 39th anniversary last week,our daughter celebrated her 10th last month.
Very heartfelt and genuine and moving. Yes, life can be very unfair, often difficult and disappointing. Divorce and step-families can make life challenging. You cannot keep beating yourself up. You obviously care about your kids, and I feel your heartbreak. No, history does not have to repeat itself. You are also resilient, have accomplishments, and a future ahead of you. You can't just dwell on the pain of a past you cannot change.
Also as you state, having money and opportunity is important. Not having it can be a huge setback.
Very interesting to hear from your point of view, I could have married him, just my type. Handsome, rugged, edgy etc. in fact I did. He ended up taking himself out after we divorced. The kids were 7 & 3, if he’d lived they would have experienced life the same as you.
As it turned out, the kids didn’t make it either. One got caught up in the chaos and partying of 1st year college students and experimented with drugs and was gone within a year. The other tried to do the right thing, live the right way. Got married, bought a house, had a small business. Was diagnosed at 26 and was gone 7 mths later. Life…ya never know what you’re gonna get
💔😔
This resonates so much to me. My father wasn’t an alcoholic. But as the youngest of three coming thru the depression, he was a philander and ultimately broke our family into pieces. Sin is generational and still dealing with the rotten residue from that era.
In my own way I have had a similar life - though totally different. But the upshot and results in terms of feelings are very much the same. So thank you for sharing this raw and heartfelt piece. Know that you are not alone.
What a beautiful and powerful piece of writing.
For someone who is punishing himself, you sure picked some gorgeous scenery to do it in. And some damn fine work to do while you are. Any people you serve who might be willing to do some ancestral healing for/with you? That might be why you are in CO, for healing not for punishment.
I'm not interested in healing. I'm just waiting it out. And I HATE Colorado. I love the tribes I work with, but this place is hell. When I finally leave, I'll never look back.
I’m so sorry. Hard for me to imagine this life. My mom and dad were married for 50 years. He had “the big one” and passed away later that year. My wife and I just celebrated our 39th anniversary last week,our daughter celebrated her 10th last month.
Damn it, Herbert you made me cry. We should catch up some time!
Hurts my heart to read this, and I have no words except hoping that sharing is healing. You father was a bit younger than I.