There have been many times during the process of becoming a historian that I have felt lost. I’ve written about this before but it’s probably worth revisiting. I flunked out of college (Murray State University) twice as a young man before finally finding my way back to Tallahassee Community College at the ripe old age of 31. The plan initially was to just finish a bachelor’s degree and get back out into the world. But something happened. I fell in love with history. I simply could not imagine doing anything else. Flash forward thirteen long years. I complete my dissertation, rise newly annointed as Dr. Jason Herbert and behold the world before me. During that time I lost a marriage, my father, my stepfather, my dog, and my cat. I moved multiple times. Lived in a basement in Minnesota, 1600 miles from my kids. It was a brutal moment. Even after moving to Florida again in 2017 I was uneasy about my next move, thinking only with conviction that if I could get back to Florida, I’d eventually put things together. But there was never a grand plan.
I told a version of this story to Erica Edwards’ class at Francis Marion University last week and received some lovely feedback from students whose own stories mirrored my own. I was grateful for their honestly in a moment in which we shared why do the things we do.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the moments in which we feel lost and uneasy, perhaps afraid of where we are and unsure of where we are going. And then it hit me.
You are not lost. You are in a process of discovery.
Rethinking how we approach our moments of doubt as moments of potential discovery reshapes our feelings around those moments and I think, how we react to them. Instead of dread or unease, the potential of discovery paints our interactions with a sense of excitement. After all, once we have entered new waters, we can add them to our map. What was unknown becomes known and serves as a launching point for further discovery and maybe adventure, too.
The big news this week is that I too will be adventuring, this time back to Minnesota to the St. Olaf College campus, where their history club will be hosting HATM LIVE on Campus this coming Sunday, October 30. We’ll be livetweeting Hocus Pocus, available on Disney+. This is the first HATM LIVE event since February, 2020, right before the pandemic hit. I’m excited to get back on the road and see students again. The feeling of being on a college campus is among my favorite in the world.
I began doing the HATM Live on Campus events because I saw the need to offer something different for students. A common concern on campus is how departments attract new students or keep the ones they have. Traditionally, history departments will bring in guest speakers who will speak to some aspect of history—Earthworms and You, The History of the Potato, The Political Machine of Wichita—and so forth. I’m joking about the nature of the talks of course, but the larger point is that bringing in a special speaker often serves the interests of faculty and people around the university who might attend—but will they attract history students? What makes the HATM Live on Campus events different is the participatory aspects of the event. I talk with—not to—the students about the role of social media in historians’ careers and how to develop a profile online. This serves their needs by introducing them in real way about how to engage in historical dialogue in a global medium. But it’s also fun, which it should be. We all got into history because we enjoyed it. I want to remind students that history is something that we can enjoy. So we watch and livetweet the film together. I’m hoping that you will join in with us on Sunday and if you see some of the St. Olaf students online, say hi.
Speaking of fun, we continue to develop the HATM podcast. We’re about six weeks away from lauching the pod and new website and I’m running around like my hair is on fire. Last week, Brett Rushforth from the University of Oregon jumped on to talk Up in the Air. This week we’ll be taping with Alejandra Dubcovsky and Alan Malfavon to talk Star Wars and the frontier, while Eric Rauchway will be jumping on to discuss his work and The Taking of Pelham 123.
I’m still figuring out how to fund the operation. The hopes are that we’ll develop a following for our community and eventually pick up sponsorship. I’m working now to develop swag, so hopefully we’ll have some things for you soon on that end. Lemme know if there’s something you think people would like.
Finally, I thought I might close with what I’m reading now. One of the nice things about not writing a dissertation anymore is that I can finally read the things that interest me that aren’t necessarily related to Florida history. This has been pushed by the book club that I maintain with three other friends of mine. They’re all attorneys but are otherwise fine people. Anyway, this week’s book is Matthew McConaghey’s Greenlights. It’s a combination of memoir and personal philosophy. After I slowed the pace of my reading to match his tone and cadence, I really began to enjoy it.
We’ve got a busy week ahead of us all I’m sure so thanks for stopping in to read. If you like the substack, please do subscribe or share it. But in the meantime, and in the words of St. Matthew of Uvalde, just keep livin’.
Thank you for sharing. Right now I feel lost. Need to see myself as point of discovery.