There are seminal moments in a man’s life that mark his progression through time: the birth of his child, the first time he bench presses 405lbs, or eating a cheeseburger so galactically large it threatens to end your existence before dessert. For me, the latter was today.
I had first heard of Meers Country Store and Kitchen nearly a year ago during my initial visit to the Comanche Nation. My friends here told me strange tales of platter sized cheeseburgers along with a peach cobbler that was to die for. It since I already have a child and can bench 405 pounds, I thought it only logical that I attempt one of these cheeseburgers for myself. Unfortunately, the restaurant was closed during my last visit to Oklahoma meaning my quest for adult actualization would be put on hold for 10 months.
Today, however, would be my day. I dipped out of Comanche Fair around 2:00 when the temperature is in Oklahoma approached just shy of 947°. I debated even going, but the pictures I had seen online were just too alluring. I needed to go. I had to do this.
From the outside, Meers appears to be everything you want in a burger joint. Really what this means is that the building looks like it’s gonna collapse at any point in time, and could probably be mistaken for a villain‘s hideout in Fallout 3.
But I got excited when I pulled up because of the tremendous amount of cars parked EVERYWHERE. Seriously, there was no real parking lot so cars and trucks were scattered alongside the street approaching the restaurant.
I thought surely with the late hour I’d be able to find a table quickly, grab a bite, and scurry back to the fair. All hopes of this happening died the moment I walked in. I was immediately greeted by a queue line that reminded me of Pirates of the Caribbean at Walt Disney World, though instead of buried treasure, the president patrons were simply looking for an education secretary, who would lead them out of 49th place. With a line this long, I thought, I have to stay.
One of the cool things about the restaurant is the decor inside. The walls are covered in signatures from people who stopped in over the years. And there’s a wide variety of knickknacks scattered about. The Gadsen Flag hanging from the banners informed me that the owners were clearly fans of American historiography. Unfortunately I missed the chance to ask them of their opinions on Bernard Bailyn’s The Ideological Origins of the American Revolution, though I’m sure they agree that Gordon Wood has been writing the same book since the early 90s.
I won’t lie, I definitely considered leaving a few times, but eventually, I was seated and had a really terrific waitress, pretty much exemplified the people out here— she was really friendly and offered me sweet tea. She even knew about the Comanche Fair. Plus, she was able to guide me towards my destination: the Seismic Cheeseburger—16oz of Meers’ own beef, topped with cheese, onions, pickles, jalapeños, and bacon. Now, I had no intention of finishing this burger. I want to ate something called the “Headhunter” when I worked at Walt Disney World. It was a pound of beef and a pound of fries and you had to finish it within an hour. I was 20 years old. And I did. But I was sick the next day. Nearly 3 decades later I had no intentions of feeling that bad again, but I ordered the sandwich just the same.
And then there it was: the physical manifestation of American exceptionalism. This burger was huge. It did in fact take up an entire platter. Because there was no real way of lifting the entire thing at once the staff at least cut the sandwich into quarters.
I’m pleased to say that the cheeseburger itself is not a gimmick. Sometimes when you come across stuff like this, the food isn’t that great. I found the burger to be quite good if maybe a tad dry. I definitely could’ve used some A1. But the bacon and onions and pickles and jalapeños really added something nice. And while I get calling it a seismic burger due to its size, I cannot help but think that I should rename this thing the 25th Amendment. Because this cheeseburger may incapacitate you.
I never did finish the burger, but I ate about half of it. Maybe a little bit more. I just wanted to order it and see it for myself. Should you go? I’d say yeah but that’s because I want for you to go out and visit Comanche Nation and the Wichita Mountains National Wildlife Refuge, both of which are nearby. And since you’re in southern Oklahoma anyway you might as well stop in and have yourself a giant cheeseburger. Just be smart and schedule a visit to your cardiologist ahead of time.
Jason
Rotfl 😂 In Lewiston, Idaho, we called that an Effie burger, after the proprietor. She was one scary old woman. That's what I thought at 18, and I still think so. Her burger didn't have all that extra weird stuff, but the beef was local, and onions from Walla Walla, Washington. Tomatoes 🍅 and lettuce from the store. Eating a whole burger was uncomfortably filling. Worked great for two. Those were the days!
I grew up in Wichita Falls, and my parents loved weekend camping in the Wichita Mountains. Thanks for writing about it.