Cut It the Fuck Loose

A user's guide to quitting Twitter

I was talking to my mom the other day. She was cleaning the house, trying to make sense of all the things she’d collected over the years, in this case, way too many clothes. I told her of the method I employed each year. It’s pretty ruthless. Each spring, I go through the closet and the dressers examining every single garment. If I haven’t worn in a year, it’s gone. No exceptions.

Sure, it’s hard. You get tied up in nostalgia. You think about the first time you wore a shirt or what you were wearing when something important happened. But somewhere along the way, something changed. Maybe you started following Derek Guy and your sense of style changed. Maybe it doesn’t fit. Maybe you misplaced it and forgot about it. In any case, you moved on. You did because the clothes simply didn’t belong in your world anymore.

I also told Mom about Marie Kondo, who seemingly took the world by storm a few years ago with her approach to organization, telling us all that things should bring us joy. If not, it’s time to go. You know where I’m heading with this.

Folks, the Twitter that once was is no longer. It doesn’t fit us anymore. What was once an interesting place to find news, meet people, and share in the human experience is gone, dead, and buried. And Elon Musk is holding the shovel.

This has been coming for a while. Like a lot of you I have hesitated, waited, hoped in vain that something might happen. But I don’t think any of us actually expected it to change.

It feels weird, doesn’t it? Having an emotional investment in a website. But we do. And I think rightfully so. Twitter as it was connected so many of us. Made us friends. Family. HATM was born there. Before that, y’all knew me as the guy who moved turtles out of the road. But in those exchanges, we all became connected. And just like old clothes, no one wants to give up those memories.

But guys, those memories remain. WE remain.

But Twitter is now the place of extremists, of fascists, of racists. Of the people we choose not to be.

And it’s time to cut Twitter the fuck loose.

So how do we do it? I’ll admit that I’ve tried before. I was afraid of losing the (as of this writing) 25,530 followers I have on that website. And for a while, that number worked as currency. It was social capital. I liked watching that number increase. I liked imagining myself as one of the cool kids at the table. And I’ve got celebrities who follow me. I want this thing to grow. I need them, right? So what to do?

First thing: realize that follower number doesn’t mean anything anymore. You think my messages are getting in front of 25,000 people? No way. There’s no penetration of my thoughts into the Twitter world. It’s gone. The conversations aren’t there. And look, while it isn’t perfect, I seem to be able to get in front of far more of the 6,300 followers I have on Blue Sky that I do on Twitter. Plus, the people are better. There seems to be a protective mindset there to keep it from becoming Twitter. “Block early and block often” is a popular refrain. So accept that that follower number is a fraud. And embrace building something good and new on the new site. We’re all doing it and we are doing it together.

Second: plan out your exodus. If there are folks you follow that aren’t anywhere else, don’t be shy. There’s one Hollywood director that I messaged today. He’s a great dude and we’ve talked from time to time. OF COURSE I want him on the pod. But beyond that, I just like the guy. So I shot him my contact info. Maybe the conversation will continue. But relationships that are meant to last will find a way to last. Send some messages, tell folks what’s up and why, and offer to stay connected. But that website is not worth sacrificing your integrity just to stick around. Message and move on.

Third: Go through your bookmarks. You’ve probably saved a few tweets along the way. Save them as jpgs to a file folder so you don’t lose them. It’s ok to archive those memories. I have a few below. Some are very personal. But I want to be honest with you that this is a difficult thing to do. But I think it’s worth it.

The very beginning of Historians At The Movies

Or maybe it was Joanne who put us on the map.

The person who responded to this post became one of my dear friends and mentors…after we set off a five week long feud over sodas, barbecue, pizza, and everything else.

That’s right- Netflix hired me to write a twitter thread. How cool is that?

Wait- Lou Diamond Phillips and I are friends now?

I’m sharing these as a very select number of thousands of tweets over the years. That place gave me so many wonderful friends and connections. In some weird way, it gave me a sense of meaning. But guys, all of those remain.

Finally: set a date. Mean it. And pull the plug. For me, that means this Tuesday, the 12th. I figure that since we are officially launching Reckoning that day, it’s time to come to a reckoning of my own.

Look, we have to realize that the Twitter that we loved—that connected us all—is dead and has been dead for a long time. It no longer brings joy. It’s time to Marie Kondo the shit out of that thing. Let’s toss it in the bin. We will not miss it. We have other things to look forward to, together.

Now let’s go get some fajitas.

JWH