272
December 10, 2025
Pounds.
Two hundred seventy-two pounds.
I went to the doctor today for a lingering ailment. Oh hell, I get gout in my feet. Apparently it’s inherited, so thanks Dad, but damn it hurts. Anyway, you tell yourself when you check in that you won’t look at the scale, because you know it won’t be pretty, but DAMN.
That’s close to 300.
I know I have a lot of muscle mass but one of the things I’m wrestling with in my late 40s is a slowing metabolism and dropping testosterone. You know this stuff is coming. You see the generation before you but it doesn’t actually hit until it’s actually hitting you.
I work out pretty regularly—three or four times a week—and generally have a decent diet. I watch my calories, though I have a nasty sweet tooth. But I’ve noticed my pants getting tighter, and oddly, my watch too. I don’t think I look bad, but I certainly don’t look good.
Back in 2022, when the Lawyer broke up with me I went into one of those classic glow-ups where you drop 30 pounds in no time. I was spending three hours in the gym each day, working out in the morning and then returning in the evening for spin class or hot yoga. I ate chicken and broccoli. The weight poured off. I was down to 235 by the time I went to Prague. I had abs, or at least the beginnings of them.
I’d kind of hoped that with this year’s rejection that I might channel that hurt into some physical transformation as well. And apparently I ate everything but chicken and broccoli. Now I’m looking at trying to drop 40 pounds and hoo boy I don’t know if I have the stamina in me. There’s a side question here about how I felt about the Historian—if she meant to me as much as I thought she did, then where was my tortuous route to self rediscovery? Oh well, moving on.
I did get a prescription for Wegovy earlier in the year. I was going to use that to help get in shape, run a marathon, and well, my insurance rejected if after my doctor said I’d be a perfect candidate for it. Hooray for American healthcare. I’m appealing now.
I’ve slowly and come to understand that I’ll never quite look the way the men in the movies we talk about do. I feel things slipping away—running out of time to get my body in line, my teeth fixed, to buy a home, to find a way home. I suppose that’s plenty of things to think about on the treadmill.
So many numbers. 48 years old. 272 pounds. 2000 miles from home. I went into history to avoid math.
Patience, Dr. Herbert.
I don’t know why I decided to share all of this tonight. I suppose it’s because I have this thing about being super open here and sharing with you the wins and the losses. Lest y’all forget, I absolutely do not have it all figured out. (But I’m getting there.)
I’ve got to go to Denver Wednesday. There’s a concert I’m seeing—Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats. Prolly won’t eat well tomorrow, either. I’m frustrated tonight.
Chin up, Herbert. You’ll need that to eat.
Argh. Ok, back at it tomorrow. Sorry about the frustration. Silly historian guy will be back soon.
Jason
P.S.- And if any of you have experience with Wegovy or Ozempic or those kinds of things and wouldn’t mind sharing, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
A safe, natural and healthy treatment for gout is stinging nettle tea.
Nettle is found in the around the world in wet areas, but wear gloves if you plan to harvest it in the wild, it’s got a wicked sting.
You can also grow it in your garden. It’s quite adaptable to most gardens. I grow it in my garden, but same caution about the stinging properties apply.
This plant is super healthy in terms of vitamins, etc!
Note - the “stinging” properties vanish when cooked with heat.
Simply brew some nettle in water and drink.
Hang in there Jason.